Getting The Conversation Started

We recently discussed “pick-up lines” to examine how effective they were. A few days ago, one of my male friends, who just happens to play in a rock band, told me how he approaches women in terms of breaking the ice.

You’d think that being in a band would be all he needs in terms of paving the way for picking someone up. However, he told me that he has his own way of doing things. He told me that he has never been one to rely on pick-up lines. He said that he is most comfortable when he get the opportunity to bring the subject of music or films in the conversation.

He has a fair point. These two subjects are a couple of the most popular conversation topics going. Nearly everyone has an opinion which they are pleased to share. It might be a recording artist we particularly like; a specific music genre, or a movie we have recently seen, or even our favorite movies of all time. These are conversation topics that have great staying power.

Naturally, being in a band, this friend of mine borrows chat-up lines from many of the songs he either plays or listens to. He laughed and said that being singled out by him, was a bit like meeting up with the character played by Paul Rudd on the film, “the 40-yerar-old virgin.”

The best chat-up lines are the genuine ones

It’s really great to meet someone who shares the same tastes in both music and movies. It offers a real opportunity to get chatting and to swap likes and even dislikes. It gives you a great chance to express yourself, put across your own views, and even share the emotion that music and films so easily generate.

It’s such a wide subject that one thing just leads naturally on to another. The only thing is, to not let yourself get too carried away.

Don’t forget the most important thing

Chatting away about music and/or movies is fun, but let’s not forget the object of the exercise. Essentially, the reason for chatting someone up is to get to know them. Knowing that you share the same tastes in some things is all very well and bodes well for the future. But you need to get to know the other person too.

You don’t want to create something like that memorable second scene in “Wayne’s World” where the girl suddenly thinks – okay the first date was interesting if a little limited - but what about the second date – will it be the same?

There is only so much music and movie history chat can be had. If that’s all you ever talk about it’s going to get rather boring, pretty damned fast.

Beginning conversations with topics like music and movies is great because it gives you common ground that you both share. However, you want to be able to move the conversation on to other things.

The next thing to do is try to find out a little more about the other person. You can also chat about different eating houses that you both like, friends you might have in common, and any hobbies or specific interests you might have. These are all excellent ways of getting into someone in greater depth.

Conversations on these topics are also great for the future. They give you the information you need to be able to plan more dates around the things you both like doing; concerts that might want to go to, and movies that you could enjoy watching together.

Finding topics of mutual interest at the beginning is great, but of course it’s not always possible.

What comes next

Once your first conversation has been successful, you need to start thinking about what comes next. This exploration phase is one of the most exciting times in any budding relationship. Getting off to a good start bodes well for the future, but you still have your work out if the relationship is going to grow.

Knowing that you already have those common likes and loves tucked away is a great comfort. You know that whenever you want to, you can both chill out together over a classic movie or a great music album. Way to go!

On Being Single

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