You answer the door for your date, and your voice is stuck in your throat. Wow! He’s very handsome. The two of you go through the motions of being on a date, but it’s hard to converse with one another. Obviously, you talk about your jobs and hometowns, but this is just small talk that doesn’t lead to anything substantial.
Although you’re sitting across from each other at the restaurant, there is a hush at the table. You’ve run out of things to say, so you just stare at the restaurant scenery and the table setting. You panic and think he’s probably bored and not interested in you.
The couple at the next table are having a great time. She’s telling an intriguing story. He is leaning towards her and laughing at every word. The same thing could have happened at your table if you had known what to discuss on a first date.
Learn how to avoid silence on a first date! Plenty of women can interest guys on the first date, but they have a secret. Guys love to talk about themselves, and they love beautiful women with great listening skills. You can be that funny, warm, relaxed and positive woman that knows how to flatter men. Ask him about his experiences and opinions. Try doing the following when you’re on a first date:
Initiate lively and positive conversation. Don’t talk about negative things. This is not the time to talk about how you hate your neighbors, your bad childhood or how you need to lose weight. Do not complain or whine about anything. Most importantly, do not talk what you want in a relationship. Save this until you’ve known him longer. Basically, do not discuss anything negative or controversial.
Relax and Get Comfortable
People tend to talk louder and faster when nervous. Their actions may range anywhere from serious to silly because they are uncomfortable. To remedy this, try watching a comedy before the date starts. A good laugh will help relax you, which sends positive messages to your brain. When he rings the doorbell, you’ll answer the door wearing a beautiful smile, and this is a trait of a happy and likable woman.
Lean Forward, Listen and Show Interest
When he speaks, lean forward and listen to everything he says. Flirt with him by crossing your legs or playing with your hair. Convince him that you’re are an attentive person with plenty of attributes. Remember that most men respond to visual cues more than verbal ones. Thus, your body language should do most of your talking.
Don’t Ask Him Common Question
Don’t bother asking common boring questions. For instance, “Where are you from?” or “What do you do for a living?” Sure, you want to know these things, but get your answers later. Think of questions that he’s probably never been asked before. There may be something that piqued you interest and you wanted detailed info. For instance, is he the only one in the family with deep dimples?
Don’t Ask Gold-Digger Questions
Don’t ask him about his job or if he owns a home. You don’t want to appear as if you are a gold digger. Once he feels more comfortable with you, he’ll reveal more personal info later.
Talk About Your Hobbies and Interests
What makes you unique? Do you have a strange or exciting career? Do you have unusual hobbies that require an adrenaline rush? Many men like women who are not only adventurous, but independent as well. Let him see this side of you, but don’t talk too much about it. You don’t want to bore him and hog the conversation. Talk about yourself for a while, but guide the conversation back to him. Use this time to get to know one another.
Share Responsibility for Conversation
Share info, but don’t take over the date. Most people say that responsibilities should be divided equally between men and women, but many men want to be the shot callers in a relationship. Give him a little push if the the conversation falters, but don’t take things over. Remember, he wants to make a good impression on you too. You aren’t the only one who is feeling pressured to look good.
If you’re too nervous at the beginning of the date, use the following conversation starters:
1.Do you have a favorite sport? What teams do you follow?
Most guys like talking about their favorite sports. You can’t go wrong by asking them sports related questions. Not only will he love answering these questions, but it will show him that you’re the type of women that is tolerable of sports. You won’t mind when he discusses sports statistics. It will also help take the pressure off.
2. I like your shirt/shoes/watch/jacket. Where did you get it?
He’ll appreciate that you like his style. It shows that you approve of his fashion choices. Also, it gives you an excuse to lean in closer to him and touch the item in further detail. He’ll appreciate the compliment, and many men are not complimented a lot.
3. Have you ever done…?
Use this time to get to know one another. It is the best way to determine if you have things in common. Ask your date about certain experiences, which allows him to talk about himself and become more comfortable with you. You may discover that you’ve had some of the same experiences, and this is a good thing.
4. Have you ever visited…?
It’s fun to talk about places that you’ve visited. Maybe he likes going to the same local spots that you like. It could be a night club, organic grocery store or old movie house on the other side of town. Each of you can talk about places that you like, which gives him a few clues about future date planning. Hopefully, this helps to solidify a second date.
All in all, break the ice by using these easy conversation starters and have a great date.