Many people have the natural ability to flirt. They can walk into a room full of people and turn on the charm. If you have the ability to do this, you know that you can make yourself as attractive as you like and draw the attention of whoever you choose.
Not everyone has this ability. For some, a social situation where they find someone attractive can feel a little overwhelming and awkward. Flirting just doesn't come naturally to this group of individuals and it, often times, leads to them feeling pessimistic. Their confidence basically flies out the window.
If you're someone that has a tendency to feel backward and shy when it comes to the art of flirting, this article is going to be your lifesaver. Following these 10 essential tips can give you your game back.
1. You Won't Get Anywhere Unless You Try
Remember that you'll never manage to get the other person's attention if you don't even try. So, don't tuck tail and run! You're in control of your destiny and that destiny is sitting across the room right now!
2. Eye Contact
This one is a must if you're going to flirt properly. Eye contact shows that you're confident. The first step to beginning to flirt is to capture your target's attention. This will show the other person that you are, indeed, interested in them. A quick look, hold the gaze for a moment or two, and then continue your conversation with your friend or go back to your dinner or drink if you're alone. You can't make your gaze too intense or you will likely scare the other person away. Once you're both talking, you need to remember that it's not only important but also polite to keep eye contact while you're talking so that the other person doesn't think that you're losing interest in them.
A genuine smile goes a long way to indicate that you're having a good time and that you really do enjoy the other person's company. A relaxed smile can dispel any nervousness that your new friend might be feeling. A great smile can relax a tense atmosphere.
4. Be Inquisitive
More often than not, people tend to talk about themselves. Don't hog the limelight. Ask your new friend about themselves. A few questions will encourage them to open up and be part of the conversation. By doing this you are finding out more about them as well as letting them know that you're truly interested in them.
Listen and pay attention. Truly listening to what someone else has to say shows them that you actually care about what's coming out of their mouth. Really listening can tell the other person that what they are saying is worthwhile and that you're absorbing the words that are actually being spoken.
You don't want to act like too much of a clown, but showing the other person that you have a great sense of humor can go a long way. You'll find that people will warm to you much faster if they know that you have a fun side and aren't strictly all business.
7. Don't Chatter
Though it's a good idea to open up a little and let the other person find out a thing or two about you; you don't want to make the entire night about you. Dominating the conversation is a no-no. Keep the conversation light and give the other person the ability to wade in and shine.
There's nothing wrong with complimenting the other person, but be careful that you don't overdo it. If you go overboard with your compliments then you can come across as creepy or condescending. You could also come across as desperate and that's pretty unattractive. However, giving someone a little praise at the right time can make them feel valued and attractive.
9. Don’t Use Ridiculous Pick-Up Lines
Whatever you do, don't use those cheesy pickup lines that you have tucked away in your head. Sometimes they can work if you're using them to be a smartass, but if you don't know how to execute a joke when using them, don't try! The bottom line here is to just be yourself.
10. Personal Space
Don't crowd someone. If you are too forward and invade someone's personal space then it's going to make them feel uncomfortable and they're going to immediately try and move away from you to get breathing room and their territorial bubble back. Crowding someone tends to make them feel unsafe and that's the very last thing that you want them feeling.