Dating advice · Matchfinder archive
How soon is too soon to become exclusive?
Published · 3 min read
From the Matchfinder archive. References to site features and some advice may reflect an earlier version of the service. Read our current safety guidance.
Is it time to become exclusive?
All the psychoanalysts in the world cannot answer the question of whether or not you are ready to become exclusive. Dating someone can start out as nothing more than sharing a good time with someone. There may be a variety of people that you have been casually seeing and this is very normal. This is socializing and just having a good time. However, when that certain someone comes along that really captures your attention, lots of questions arise.
No one can put a time line on becoming exclusive; It could be a week, a month, or longer, depending on each individual. There are different factors that you should weigh before jumping into that relationship. How long has it been since exiting your last relationship? A particular person may grab your attention because you miss the comfort of being exclusive and not because you see something special in this new person.
Ask yourself how much you know about this dreamboat before deciding to sail away. Do you have the time that is needed to rearrange your life for an exclusive? Your life may be filled with tons of commitments and squeezing in more time might be out of the question right now. Are you willing to make changes to your current lifestyle? How important are parties, travel and exiting the dating scene to you? You may have found a freedom that does not include being committed to someone. This could all change when becoming exclusive to another. There will be someone else to think about before taking off at a moment’s notice.
However, if you have been using an online dating service for over a year, you probably have a pretty good idea of how much time you have, what you are looking for, and know the interests of others. You are ready, able and willing to immediately move into that exclusive-mode when the right one shows up. That long-term commitment has been established and your life it ready. Dropping everything else in pursuit of being exclusive will probably not pan out for you. You have to be ready and willing to take on the demands of sharing your life with another. If your life is comfortable and filled with things that you enjoy, it is best to hold off. The timing is totally up to you on when you feel that you are going to give it your all. Timing is secondary.