Some people will tell you that there are two kinds of people in the world: haves and have-nots. I, however, would break it down in a different way. From the experiences I’ve had in my love life, I’d say that you’re either a giver or a taker.
A taker is someone who, intentionally or not, drains other people’s time, money, energy and emotional reserves. These people will leave you feeling drained emotionally and physically. You’ll feel like they detract from your life rather than enhancing it and overall, they don’t hold up their end of the relationship and take more than they give back. Worse still, these people tend to pout or get angry when things don’t go their way. Sound familiar? We all know someone like this.
A giver is someone who tends to be calm, easy to get along with and are kind and generous in deeds and words. They’re there to help you recharge when life gets you down. They’re the people you can go to when you have problems. They often spend their time and money to help good causes, they go the extra mile at work and give more than they take in relationships.
Are you a giver or a taker? Let’s take a guy who’s in my social circle and see what you think.
1. He treats his girlfriend like she’s his maid.
2. He’s 35 and still lives with his parents.
3. He thinks he’s always right and that everything is about him.
4. He’s emotionally immature. It’s hard to tell if you should be angry at him or feel sorry for him.
Thankfully, most of the people I know are givers, not takers. My friend Jane comes to mind; everyone who knows her is well aware of how sweet and generous she is. She’s the friend who will always give you a ride to the airport (and won’t even accept offers of gas money). She’s always there when her kids need her, she tips waiters and bartenders generously and she’s a source of emotional support for any friend in need.
My friend Tom is a lot like Jane. He’s always helping people out, giving his time and money where he can and is always a good source of thoughtful advice or a strong shoulder to cry on.
If you want your life to be healthier and enhance your own well-being, think about how takers can negatively affect your life.
1. They feel entitled and this can damage your own well being.
2. They cause stress which can lead to physical problems (like high blood pressure, headaches, etc.).
3. After a while, they’ll leave you feeling resentful, frustrated and used.
4. They don’t have a lot of good qualities and a lot of bad ones.
In general, you just just avoid these people if you can. You’ll be happier and healthier, physically, mentally and emotionally!