What to do after a break-up
Breaking up is not easy. Even if you think it’s the right decision, the pause it creates in your life makes you think twice. You can’t gauge why you are sad- it may because you think you had made the wrong decision, or you are thinking about your partner or you are unhappy about the separation.
While it’s difficult ending something you thought had possibilities, its part of the dating game. When you enter the game, you start meeting and dating them to see if they are the right person. Things go smoothly if they are the right person. However if not, you have to learn to move on, and this is what can drain you.
Brooding may seem to be the best thing to do now. However it isn’t as it’s better if you jump back into the game and try your luck once again. You could perhaps recollect your previous dating experience to decide what you want in your next date.
Here’s a line from a movie that applies here, and which most people have seen. It’s the movie ‘You’ve Got Mail’ starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan? which most people have seen, and that’s the life you are living.
Meg Ryan keeps in contact with Tom Hanks via email while she is dating Greg Kinnear. It’s while they are at a movie that he passes a comment that she dislikes, and makes her leave. He follows her and acknowledges it’s his fault and they go to a restaurant where they both confess that they don’t love each other and laugh over it!
They say that while things seem right for both of them and that they should be together, something still seems wrong. This is exactly what most people go through and wonder about. He then asks her if there is someone else to which she replies no, but that she does dream of someone else.
Now, isn’t this true? Doesn’t everyone dream of someone else at times, even when in the company of another person? Its okay to dream about someone else as it lets you dream about, and inculcate all the features you want them to have and how they make you happy. You push aside everything intimidating about dating and enjoy the company with someone you know and actually care about. This happens because it’s not a reality but is a dream.
Once you breakup with someone and think of someone else, most people start dating again anticipating meeting someone who has the spark you are looking for. It’s when you don’t find the right person immediately that you end up disappointed.
Most daters generally give up easily after a break-up and have a ‘dry spell’ as they think dating is just too exhaustive. They wonder why they have to go through all that again after draining themselves from the previous relationship.
Even if your dream about that person is not perfect, remember that it exists. While you may look forward to being with someone, it takes time and work. Don’t think that you’ll find someone immediately just because you are back in the market.
While you may have the perfect dream, living in that dream of perfection may leave you feeling lonely. Its life’s imperfections which add spice to life and the chances of this spice bringing a smile to your face are much higher!
Basically, it’s okay to sulk a bit if you have just broken up and are moving on. Moving on isn’t easy even if you had a short relationship with the person. It’s because there was some connection between you two that you feel you need to patch up that hole when you break up.
However don’t hesitate to explore all available opportunities when you feel like dating again. Though you may feel like Eeyore, it’s good because he’s a good role model who kept moving on even after his tail fell off. You too have to picture yourself there and move on, and wish that your dream with someone else manifests itself.