How To Tell Whether It's Love Or Lust

Is It Lust Or Is It The Real Thing?

Suppose you meet someone new, you hit it off immediately and you’re getting more and more infatuated with them every day. How can you tell if this is something that could become a real relationship, or just a crush that will pass soon?

Most of us fall in love at least a few times in our lives. If you’re not sure whether what you’re feeling right now is the real thing, here’s some of the most important signs that this could be the beginning of something great in your life:

I. Communication: It’s important to be honest and open. It’s also important that you get to know someone fairly well before you jump into a committed relationship. Are you really talking, or just flirting with one another?

Good Signs:

» You talk about important things like your goals, fears, plans for the future and your finances.

» You can argue, but come to a compromise.

» You can express your feelings honestly to each other.

Warning Signs:

» You know his favorite color and his favorite author, but you don’t feel comfortable asking him personal questions about his life, either because you might learn something you wish you hadn’t or you’re afraid he’ll reject you.

» You don’t talk about your feelings and bottling things up is leading you to be resentful of each other.

» Neither of you is willing to forgive the other’s mistakes.

II. Love: No long term relationship can last without love. Is what you’re feeling really love?

Good Signs:

» You stick together in a crisis, no matter what.

» You’re willing to make sacrifices for each other’s happiness.

» You don’t keep secrets from each other.

» You are compatible mentally and emotionally as well as physically.

» You are friends, not just lovers.

Warning Signs:

» Your partner isn’t there for you when things get tough.

» Your partner has a wandering eye and/or has demonstrated a pattern of infidelity.

» Your partner lies to you and won’t confess until you find out for yourself.

» Your relationship lacks laughter, communication and physical affection.

III. Respect

Lasting relationships are built on a foundation of respect, affection and acceptance. When you don’t respect each other, things go sour and trust becomes suspicion.

Good Signs:

» You accept your partner, flaws and all.

» You support and encourage each other’s interests and have individual identities.

» You listen and genuinely consider each other’s point of view when you disagree.

Warning Signs:

» You bicker in front of other people.

» Your partner wants to spend every waking minute together and discourages you from pursuing your own interests.

» Your life has become a constant struggle to be the person that your partner wants you to be, rather than the person you are.

» You can’t forgive each other when you make a mistake.

Sometimes you have to take a step back and look at your relationship objectively. If it just isn’t going to work, then it might be time to leave and move on with your life. If it’s already strong, then build on that strength as you work to fix the problems – over time, that will make your relationship even stronger.

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