How to be Her "Go-To" Guy (and Why You Want to Be)

Most women have what you might call their “go-to” guy. She may or may not actually think of him as such, but that’s who he is and he’s a very important part of her life. He could be the good looking friend who she calls when she needs a date for a social occasion, a close confidant with a shoulder to cry on, someone who gives great advice, who can fix her car or who just generally cheers her on.

Regardless of the specifics, there is a foundation of trust, friendship and the bonds that come with a history together. Sometimes, a romantic relationship can grow out of these friendships; it’s happened to me before.

I’d known my friend “Dave” for years. We were kind of interested in one another at first, but it just wasn’t the right time; however, we became friends and he was someone whose advice and support I could count on. Not only was he smart and thoughtful, he was also sweet and we had a lot in common. I felt comfortable opening up to him and he was always there for me when I needed him.

Then one night he called me after returning from a long vacation, told me that he wanted to get together and had been thinking of me. Next week, we had an intimate dinner at his home and we connected on a level deeper than friendship. It was an easy transition and one which lasted for nearly a year afterwards.

Go To Guy Vs. Friend

This is different than being just any friend of hers; a go-to guy is one who has proved his value and shown that he’s reliable. The support that you’re willing to provide her can lead to an emotional connection on both sides and lay the groundwork for a successful, caring relationship. If you want to take things to the next level, here’s what you need to do to win her over.

1. Keep Your Word.

It’s surprising how few guys understand how important this is. If you’re not a man of your word, how do you expect a woman to trust and confide in you?

2. Ditch the Hidden Agenda.

Women will be able to tell if your intentions aren’t honorable. Don’t do her favors just to make her feel indebted to you; be nice to her because you want to. Chivalry is something every woman appreciates.

3. Don’t Expect it to Happen Overnight.

Remember that you’re probably not the only guy pursuing her. It can take time for a real connection to develop, so be patient.

4. Don’t Vilify Whoever She’s Seeing Now.

She may be seeing someone right now. You might think that she deserves better; you can say what you think, but be nice about it. Trashing her love interest could make her angry and might even bring them closer together – and leave you out of the picture entirely.

5. Be Well-rounded.

A lot of women have more than one go-to guy to meet different needs. Strive to be all of these guys to her so that she doesn’t have to go to anyone else.

6. Make Her Laugh.

Sometimes you need to lighten the mood; if you can make her laugh, you’re increasing your value in her book.

7. Be Her #1 Fan.

Show her you value her by supporting and encouraging her in her efforts to meet her goals.

If you can keep all seven of these tips in mind and put them into action, you’ll be well on your way to becoming the go-to guy in the life of the woman you’re interested in.

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